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" "Possibly the last person you want to be stood next to at a house-party you’ve been dragged along to by a friend who wants to get off with the flatmate of the guy whose birthday it is. It makes me appear more attractive and personable than I actually am.
With you, however, I’m going to be a belligerent old shit from the very beginning.
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Must wear size five shoes." "When I was thirty my dates had to be young, tall, handsome, rich, intelligent.
Now I'm 64, they only have to know how to read and use the telephone! They’re amazing; I’ll burn you a CD." "Normally on the first few dates I borrow mannerisms from the more interesting people I know and very often steal phrases and anecdotes from them along with concepts and ideas from obscure yet wittily-written books.
It seems like these nine funny singles took things a little bit too far.